Hi, everyone. I’m Chris’ half-cousin, Donald Crowell. Chris couldn’t write this column. He lit himself on fire after Ohio State lost its second championship game in four months to Florida. That’s Chris for ya, ever the drama queen.

He has really left me unprepared to write this. I found the notes he was keeping as he watched the game, and I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure more than half of it isn’t allowed in the paper. Some of it would make George Carlin blush. Here are the few bits I can slide by the censors:

• I hate Lee Humphrey.

• We need Ohio High School Player of the Year and 2008 top recruit Jon Diebler like Florida forward Joakim Noah needs a punch to the groin.

• They call Buckeye guard Ivan Harris “The Microwave.” That’s nice. Hopefully he knows how to use one because he’s going to be working at Bob Evans after this performance.

• Oh my god, I hate Lee Humphrey. Why can’t Ohio State guard him? Why? And by guard, I mean punch in the groin.

• WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

And then there was a doodle of a steamroller running over what appeared to be Florida coach Billy Donovan’s face. Anyway, you get the point.

I don’t mean to step on Chris’s toes in his own column, but what is with all the complaining? I understand that the Buckeyes just lost two consecutive championships to the same team, but let the record show that THEY MADE IT TO TWO CONSECUTIVE CHAMPIONSHIPS! Isn’t that something to be proud of?

I’m a big sports fan, too; I’m just not a lunatic. I’m able to view this situation realistically.

The Buckeyes have had two big heartbreaks this year. So what, do you know what causes heartbreak? Winning. If you don’t want to experience big letdowns, go root for a team that rarely contends – like Michigan. Sure, it may be boring to lose on a more consistent basis, but at least you’ll never get your heart broken, right? Give me a break.

OK, OK, stop crying. I’m sorry. I know this is a sensitive time right now. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. All I’m saying is having the No. 2 teams in football and basketball is not the worst thing in the world. Actually, after doing some simple math, you can see it’s only one notch below being No. 1.

Still don’t believe me? What would you rather watch, the Browns as they vie for the top pick in the draft every season or the Buckeyes fight for a championship? I would hope you picked the latter.

Under Thad Matta, the basketball program has the top recruiting class until 2010. Despite this disappointment, the team is in good shape to make championship play a habit. It sure beats the days of Brent Darby.

I know this isn’t what Chris would say right now. He’d still be lamenting, saying things like, “We should be the school with championships in both sports,” or “I’m never stepping foot on Florida soil ever in my life, and I hope the entire state gets Bird Flu.” But sometimes, Chris is a simpleton.

His myopia causes him to miss the big picture. These are great times to be a Buckeye fan.

I believe you have to appreciate the hand you’ve been dealt. For most of my sports teams, that hand is usually a two, a seven and three “rules of the deck” cards. But for now, the Buckeyes are a full house. Sometimes a full house gets beat, but 100 times out of 100, I play it and hope for the best.

Chris can stay in the burn ward as long as he wants. I’m proud of the Buckeyes and will hold my head high. Plus, it’s April, and Grady Sizemore plays for the Indians. Stop sulking! Go Tribe.

Contact sports columnist Chris Crowell at [email protected].