A glorious fusillade of mints and pop
I’m anticipating high readership this week because today is Election Day and a lot of you will be standing in line for hours on end, and you’ll have nothing better to do than read this column. Assuming that’s true, I’m under a lot of pressure. But don’t worry, I’ve found the perfect topic to entertain you. It’s so entertaining you’ll want to read this column over and over, probably 40 or 50 times, before you reach your polling booth.
I’m going to make a suggestion for something to do once you get out of that polling place, because I’m sure you’re going to be bursting to do something great. You’re going to feel so free when you walk out those doors and back into the world that just going about the rest of your day won’t be enough. You’ll need something productive to do, and how do you top having just voted for the next person to run the entire country? I’ll tell you.
First, let’s get the obvious options aside. Option number one will be to sleep for a long time through the rest of your classes or work, or take care of other important responsibilities. The second option will be to go get food because you’re probably going to be hungry when you get out of there. In fact, you’re probably starving right now. Eat the full page ad or the classified section of this Stater until you can grab some Chipotle.
But let’s be serious. You can eat or sleep any time. Let’s not waste your post-voting high on something so menial. Let’s channel that energy and do something truly magnificent, something glorious and awe-inspiring. Let’s drink Diet Coke and eat Mentos at the same time.
Yes. You’ve seen the videos or heard the accounts from those who have combined these two fatal ingredients in a two-liter container, but have you done it? It works. It’s not one of those baloney online stunts like the triangle of ringing cell phones that can pop popcorn. When you plop a tube of Mentos into that two-liter bottle of Diet Coke, it will shoot out about 3 feet into the air and completely soak whatever surface you’ve decided to conduct this experiment on. It’s hardcore.
Over the summer, my sister and I realized something. Katie worked at BP, and one day a customer knocked over a display of Diet Coke cans and ruined a few boxes. She got to take the dented cans home. We decided we had too many Diet Coke cans in the basement. I also had a pack of Mentos from the end of the semester when I went on my meal plan spending spree. This was not coincidence. A higher power was demanding we take advantage of the situation.
And because Diet Coke cans are way smaller than two-liters, we decided this version of our experiment would require a different venue. So we took turns cracking open cans of Diet Coke, chugging them, popping three or four Mentos into our mouths and waiting until a volcano of minty carbonation burst forth from our lips (Into our basement sink. Jeez, Mom, relax). It was awesome. We spit up pop and mints for about a half hour, and we took amazing videos.
I can’t tell you what it feels like to do this. I only know that it’s the type of thing you’re going to want to do when you’re on your voter’s high. I don’t care if you don’t believe me. You’re just missing out if you don’t, and you’ll probably end up going home and sleeping or something lame like that. Have fun.
Now, I don’t want to discourage any of you who aren’t reading this while waiting in line for the polls. Maybe you already voted today, maybe you’re smart like me and mailed in your absentee weeks ago. Maybe you’re feeling left out. Don’t. You can still partake in this activity. Any type of pent up energy can be used in this exercise and yield equally successful and satisfying results. Go forth and spit up.
Kristine Gill is a junior newspaper journalism major and columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected] for videos of this sweet activity.