Technically I’ve been a senior for two years now and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater for just as long. I find it difficult to express how I feel about graduating, so instead of just one final contribution to this publication, this is the first installment of a two-piece editorial depicting both highly contrasting opinions of Kent State I have acquired in my tenure.

For some background: I transferred here spring 2007 after dropping out of the University of Toledo almost two years prior. I’ve never lived on campus and can’t figure out how I ended up in the School of Journalism and Mass Communication. One day, my knack for writing led me to fill out an application to write for the Stater, and, they kept letting me back in.

My space is limited, so I better get down to business. Like I said, it’s a two-week installment where this week I rant about all the things that make this place sometimes feel like a death trap, and next week I’ll try to be more cheery and uplifting by discussing things about Kent that I sort of, kind of like.

But anyway, let’s get started. In no particular order, here are my five least favorite characteristics of Kent State University.

1. The phrase “Excellence in action” — I don’t know who thought of this one, but if it was you, Lefton, get over yourself. You and I both know this is totally bogus. A more appropriate slogan probably goes more like “Paying too much for something quite average.”

2. Parking tickets — Need I say more? Yes, there are limited parking spaces in various areas of campus, but ticketing vehicles in the C lot on a Sunday night just seems like a dirty trick to raise revenue for money-grubbing scoundrels. Nowhere else do we see ourselves as exploited by this institution as in the atrocities committed by Parking Services.

3. That new, tacky graphic on the side of the library — There is another one slapped on the side of the Rec center, but it’s not quite as apparent as a 30-foot monolithic textile intended as propaganda geared toward prospective students. This thing looks like it should go in the phone book, not on the side of a building.

4. The Bursar’s Office not accepting Visa as a form of payment for tuition — Maybe there is some diabolical plot behind this decision, if not just to piss off already irate college students. What kind of a business takes Discover and American Express but not Visa? This makes no sense.

5. Drinking fountains that don’t work — Picture this: rushing to class after eating a cheese Danish and all you need is a gulp of water. That looks like a perfectly good water fountain, right? Wrong. The water pressure is so low you would practically have to lap it up like a dog to receive any refreshment. In any case, about half the drinking fountains at Kent State fail to supply a steady stream of water when necessary.

While I could probably continue for a while discussing the cons, these five are the ones that glaringly stick out like a sore thumb on a regular basis. And certainly, I am not always this cynical. For evidence, join me next week as I depict Kent State in a different light: the good side.

Garrison Ebie is a senior electronic media major and columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact him at [email protected].