Glitter bombs: Creative revenge or pure evil?

Photo Illustration by Tyler Hill

An army of shimmering, reflective fragments is suspended in the air before you. It’s as if one million tiny snowflakes were swept inside and glossed over with a metallic sheen. The gleam of the explosion sends you reeling back in your chair. When you open your eyes they’re still there, dazzling remnants too small to hold between your fingers.

Now imagine these sparkly shreds sprinkled across your keyboard, swimming in your coffee mug and finding their way into corners you didn’t even know existed. This bewildering experience is the result of a glitter bomb, the latest way to wreak havoc on exes, enemies and wrongdoers alike.

Mathew Carpenter, 22, opened the gates to a kind of sparkling inferno when he launched his website, shipyourenemiesglitter.com, on Jan. 13. For a modest fee, you could anonymously send an envelope bearing a spring-loaded glitter tube to explode in the face of that one person who can’t take a hint.

After the site had been live for less than 24 hours with orders totaling around 2,500, he suspended orders, begging customers to “Please stop buying this horrible glitter product — I’m sick of dealing with it.”

Less than two weeks after its launch, he sold the site for $85,000 to an anonymous buyer. The business is back in action, selling glitter bombs for $9.99.

TV2 Gets Glitter-Bombed from KentWired.com on Vimeo.

The history of glitter dates back to prehistoric times. It has been a form of glamour since it was made from flaked mica and used in cave paintings in ancient Egypt, Greece and China. Today, glitter is made by cutting sheets of plastic or metallic foils into tiny pieces that reflect the light of the surfaces around them.

Once used to create a gleaming lightning bolt on David Bowie’s cheek, glitter has been repurposed from glam to revenge. After sending your enemy glitter, the subject of your reprisal can spend days trying to vacuum their way through the sea of glitter without ever truly erasing it all.

Creative revenge comes in various forms, many of which cost you nothing but time and imagination. The key is in knowing what to do and when to draw the line. After all, you only want to make a statement, not cause real harm.

There are endless possibilities using materials available in an average dorm room where you get the last laugh without breaking the bank.

One method is to go into your person of interest’s office or dorm and wrap everything in tin oil. It makes for a perplexing experience to find your space looking like a scene from “The Wizard of Oz.”

If you wish to avoid the hassle of tin foil, an alternative is to fill a room with balloons. When the person opens the door, a helium nightmare will come floating out. Now the challenge is to get all of the balloons down.

Everyone loves it when you give them free food; however, their opinion might change when that complimentary treat isn’t so cordial. Place toothpaste-filled Oreos on their desk for a shock, but don’t stay for their reaction.

Revenge can be a dangerous thing, and many would advise turning the other cheek. If you’re not careful, you might be the next one to find a sparkly explosion in the mail.

Perhaps all that glitters isn’t gold.

Contact Jamie Brian at [email protected].