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Since childhood, young boys have had one message drilled into us, to be a “real man,” you must be muscular. 

We see it in movies, television shows, commercials and even comic books. Men with chiseled jawlines, broad shoulders and most importantly, the rock solid six-pack. If a man doesn’t have that ideal physique, media either ignores him or turns him into a punchline.

This isn’t just sad but harmful.

For decades, pop culture has set an unrealistic body standard for men, much like the way it has for women. The ideal male body is portrayed as something naturally attainable, as if every man could have rock-hard abs if they simply put in the work. 

The reality? It often takes strict dieting, intense training and in many cases, genetic luck to achieve that physique. Yet, because of this relentless conditioning, men who don’t fit the mold feel inadequate or even ashamed.

If we look at media representation, the evidence is clear, leading men are nearly always fit, if not shredded. From superheroes to romantic leads, they follow the same blueprint. Meanwhile, heavier men are often portrayed as comic relief, the sidekick or the target of fat jokes. 

Rarely do we see plus-sized men in romantic, heroic or powerful roles. When was the last time a blockbuster had an overweight action hero who wasn’t played for laughs? When was the last time we saw a plus-sized man as the love interest without his weight being part of the narrative?

This goes hand in hand with real-world issues. 

Body image struggles among men are often dismissed, yet studies show increasing numbers of men suffering from body dysmorphia, eating disorders and gym addiction due to the pressure to attain these unrealistic body types. Unlike women’s body image discourse, while still problematic, gains more public awareness while men’s struggles remain largely ignored. 

Many still believe that men don’t care about their appearance, when in reality, they’ve just been conditioned to suffer in silence.

One of the most harmful pieces to this puzzle is how it affects self-worth. 

Many men internalize the belief that their value is tied to their physical appearance which leads to guilt, shame and frustration. Those who struggle to meet the impossible standard often feel that they have failed in some way. This forces the toxic idea that masculinity is defined by physical appearance rather than character, kindness or intelligence.

The fitness industry also exploits this insecurity by constantly promoting extreme workouts, supplements and diet plans as if a six-pack is the key to confidence and success. Social media also does this, with influencers pushing filtered images of themselves at peak condition, all without pointing out the habits, performance-enhancing drugs or extreme measures taken to maintain that appearance.

It’s time for a change. 

Media needs to broaden the idea of masculinity beyond six-packs and bulging biceps. Men should be allowed to exist in various body types without being reduced to jokes or side characters. We need to see more representation of diverse male bodies in heroic, romantic and leading roles, not as the exception but as the norm.  

Masculinity isn’t measured by muscle mass. It never was.

Moving forward, we have to fight against these stereotypes. Creators should prioritize casting men of different body types in different types of roles, without making their weight a defining characteristic. 

Audiences need to ditch the idea that only one specific physique can represent strength and attractiveness. Until we get rid of these unrealistic standards, men will continue to suffer under expectations that were never truly achievable to begin with.

True confidence and self-worth should not be defined by the image of the “perfect man.” It’s time to redefine masculinity in a way that is inclusive, realistic and empowering for all men, regardless of their shape or size.

Nicholas Keller is a columnist. Contact him at [email protected].